Entertainment Weekly SAG Awards Party

I titled this blog Full Disclothesure, but I've been disclosing a little less than fully, pretty much since it began. I feel terrible. It's high time I out with the secret that Portlanders in my doctor's office, Revocycle, and the 23rd Ave Barista have known for months (I haven't given up my morning fix). The truth is... I'm pregnant! Hiding a bump for five months, especially during winter, is pretty easy, but a six month bump? Impossible.

An invitation to attend EW's SAG Awards party came up (i.e., my publicist Jami convinced them to let me crash), and there was no way I was going to miss an opportunity to stalk Taystee from OITNB. Armed with my ever-growing belly and the $500 I budgeted for myself, I set off for Bridgeport Village in Tigard.

My first stop was Saks Off Fifth, the outlet off-shoot of Saks Fifth Avenue. This being January, I very luckily hit the tail end of the year-end markdowns, also known as JACKPOT!!! Specifically, 60% off the lowest clearance prices, which is about as dangerous as it gets for sale junkies like me. My husband constantly reminds me that the amount saved on an item is not actually deposited into our bank account, but I still lose my mind (and many dollars from my savings) over a great deal.

The main decision, as any pregnant lady knows, was whether to tent or shrink-wrap the bump. Do I go full curve, or give the little guy room to boogie (which he now does all day and night, much to the frustration of my dwindling REM cycles)?

My waistline had officially gone AWOL, so I was a little daunted. I've never had the confidence to rock a "body con" stretch dress if it wasn't forced upon me by a wardrobe department, so I stuck to my safe zone of A-lines and shifts. The great thing about all these new body issues is that I am presented with far fewer options, creating a drastically easier decision making process! I found a total of one dress that fit and was cute/unique enough to submit to the red carpet firing squad. The last one on the rack, it was a RED by Valentino floral mini dress, in my size, WITH POCKETS, and marked down to $178 from $595!! Serendipity.

Next up, shoes! I was scouring the 'net for the perfect booties to go with my Grammys dress (more on that in a couple of weeks), and I stumbled upon a pair on Piperlime that seemed cobbler-made for my dress. They featured the same netting and swiss dot detail as the Valentino, for a reasonable-ish $135. I ordered them and watched them go on sale a week later, so the angels at Piperlime credited me back the difference in price. The bargain gods are ever in my favor! $89.99 was the final damage. Comfortable, they were not. Adorable? Yes. I'd apologize to my toes later. 

The last element was hair and makeup. I decided to trust the matter to the experts, recruiting my favorite team of Steven Mason and André Sarmiento to finish the look. This meant spending a considerable chunk of change, but I can write it off (not so the wardrobe), and my second trimester skin has been freaking out (prone to unexpected rashes), so it felt worth the investment. I knew I wanted my hair off my face (it desperately needs a trim and touch-up) and I loved this top knot, but was a little worried it would make me look like a sociopathic ballerina or 60, so Steven promised we'd have time to change it if I lost confidence...He crushed it, of course. The top netting and swiss dots of the dress made me think 50s, so I wanted a vintage-y eye and face, like this photo I sent to André. He concocted the beautifully bright orchid pink from a few different shades, which proved to be a major hit, passing muster from my sisters and Bitsie, to whom I'd been frantically submitting options for approval.

Finally, I spent a good twenty minutes trying to decide how to finagle the bump for the cameras. The dress' pockets were the perfect tool to accentuate the new passenger and, as a bonus, got my shoulders rolled back and down for good posture. Motherhood multitasking starts early!


The Breakdown:

Dress: $178

Shoes: $89.99

Necklace (McTeigue & McClelland): Gift from husband

Total Cost of Look: $267.99

(plus hair + makeup)